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‘Log Kya Kahenge’ Syndrome Has Destroyed Many Lives Since The Time Of Ramayana!
The festival season is on, and it’s easy to over-spend! Listen to a mom tell us why financial planning is so important now!?
‘Log kya kahenge’ is an illness Indian society has. So much that is wrong with it is because of this fear of what people will say, since ancient times, even found in our epics.
As a 90’s kid I grew up watching the Ramayana every Sunday on national television. I loved it; somehow it had and still has, a soothing effect upon me. The characters are beautiful yet simple and graceful at the same time. On the one hand, there are so many things to learn, yet on the other hand there are too many questions left unanswered.
Since then I have seen the repeat telecasts of the same or different versions on various channels. Read books of and about this epic. Spent countless hours googling for insights.
When I came across Devdutt Patnaik’s Sita, I just had to read it. And this book definitely answers a lot, if not all of the critical questions. These questions are important for me, because maybe being a girl or maybe just because I am sensitive to women’s issues.
Searching for answers
Don’t know why but I have been searching for the answer to why Ram, the ideal king, asked for his pregnant wife to be left in a forest. His actions being the most noble, to be replicated by all his followers – then why did he set such an example? Was it the right thing to do? I have many a times searched for answers, but all I could ever find was how Sita had the abilities to survive in a forest, how she was Earth’s daughter, how she raised her sons alone till they were 14, how she trained them to praise Ram, sing songs about his glory.
On one side Ramayana shows Ram as a normal human being, a righteous king, who wants to set a good example and leaves his wife so that his people feel that he did the right thing. And on the other hand, the same Ramayana glorifies Ram as God incarnate, who defeated the greatest evil in the form of Ravana.
So Ravana kidnapped somebody’s wife, and as a result we have spent centuries burning his effigy, and adding to the already polluted air. And the one who asked for his wife to be left in a forest, without so much as a confrontation, he becomes God, and is worshipped, his name a mantra in itself!
Log Kya Kahenge?
If it were me, I would rename Ramayana to Log Kya Kahenge or ‘what would people say?’
Kaikeyi asks Dushratha to grant her the pending three wishes. Send Ram to forests for 14 years. He has to keep his promise, otherwise log kya kahenge that a Raghukal king did not keep his promise.
Ram keeps his father’s promise and leaves for the jungle. Because log kya kahenge that a son of the Raghukal clan refused his father’s orders.
Ram rescues Sita and takes her Agni Pariksha to test her purity. Because log kya kahenge. After all she spent many months at Ravana’s Lanka. What if she had failed this test? What would Ram had done then? After all, she was kidnapped, it was not like she went there for a holiday.
Then a washerman tells his wife some gossip about Sita, and Ram decides to leave her. Wasn’t the punishment of staying in forests for 14 years enough? Or the trauma of being kidnapped and taken to a foreign land enough? Log kya kahenge, better to leave Sita in a forest. So did he go to rescue her just because, log kya kahenge, such a great king could not even protect his wife?
And the same happening today
In today’s society, log kya kahenge is a mindset very difficult to get rid of. People crave for a son, rejecting the girl child, just because of this same mindset. An unmarried daughter is a matter of shame, not because she could be unhappy but because log kya kahenge. Rape victims are forced to commit suicide upon being rejected by their families because log kya kahenge.
Isn’t it time to reject this notion? To just for once live a life of our own liking and not make it about what people would think? Shouldn’t we let our sons, daughters, parents, take decisions about their life and to not worry about what society will think? Isn’t it time to write another epic, change the texts, set positive examples?
Is there any cure for the fear of what others will think? Because this one line has been the cause of far more deaths, both physically and mentally, than any calamity ever.
Lastly, just to add a bit of cheer and hope, a few lines from an evergreen song that you can also watch here: Kuch to log kahenge, logo ka kam hai kehna…chodo bekar ki bato ko..kahi beet na jaye raina…
The book’s title “Femonomic: Women Invite Crime” is a shot at society’s constant victim blaming as women are expected to resist or enjoy crime against them. No matter what happens, women are always either instructed or blamed for one or the other thing.
Book : Femonomic: Women Invite Crime
Publisher: Think Tank Books (1 September 2019)
Author : Lovey Chaudhary
Price : 125 INR
Format: Paperback & Kindle
Review by Swapna Peri
Book Cover
The cover of the book is an image of a young woman looking straight at you with courage and helplessness.
About the book
The book is a collection of poems that are like distinct fragrances of a flower, a perfect mixture of different emotions, boldness, and innocence.
Aesthetics, observation, and emotional balance are very important while penning a poetry-based book, and the author has excelled brilliantly in it. The poems appear to be inspired by real-life events, encounters, and most frowned upon subjects around the world. It seems as if most of them were personally experienced by the author.
Many poems in the book empower women to create a positive space in life and encourage society to do so as well. In a way, the book is a good medium for communicating the strong message the author planned to convey through her poems to the world.
The poetry talks about everything from body image to homosexuality, from the birth of a girl child to rape of that girl child, from anxiety to suicide, from love to sex, and from chocolate to French fries.
In the present scenario of the world, the violence and the increasing crimes against women are witnessed by everyone across the world in some or the other manner. It indicates the enormity and pensiveness of the monstrosity perpetrated against women in recent years. Most of the times the parents or the relatives of the woman suffering mask out the crime against her because they fear society. It is a myth that such atrocities happen only in the communities of less-educated people. It is most prevalent with the middle class and upper-middle class, in India or America. The changes in the living standards, lifestyle, imbalance in the economic growth, changes in social life are some of the reasons that contribute to a vicious outlook towards women due to which there is multiplication in crimes against women.
Some of the poems like To Love, Tumble, I don’t know what to name it, Who am I, The tragedy of self-love & Prostitution are really very well thought and incredibly written. Kudos to the author for picking up such themes.
Thus the author has taken the emotional turbulence as well as women’s issues that she might have witnessed directly or indirectly as the muse for each of her poems and presented them to the readers in the most unadulterated, authentic and powerful way. There are many poems that are written so intelligently that they will prick the bug in one’s mind.
What I like
A perfect blend of raw human emotions towards subjects that everybody is aware of but no one talks about.
Realism, perception and imagination are beautifully interwined.
Poetry about contrasting topics in a unique way makes for a good read.
The sense of thought provoking and probing poems is admirable.
Reality of today’s world is described coherently and effectively.
The mindset of today’s society towards women is seamlessly illustrated in words.
My Final Verdict: A unique, thoughtful and exceptional read.
Book Title: 4/5
Book Cover: 4/5
About the book: 4/5
Language & Grammar: 4/5
Final Rating: 4/5
Nisha Tandon, a bilingual poetess from Dubai has marked her name in poetry with her soulful poetry. An entrepreneur by profession, Nisha Tandon has used her life experience in a well-articulated and rhythmic tone in her poetries. Starting her poetic journey with her first poetry collection, Footprints; she has come a long way in her credentials as a poetess. Currently residing in Dubai, she has been an individual with various attributes. Apart from holding a reputed position in an HR & Training Consulting Firm, she has worked in hotels, educational institutions and corporate entities.
INTERVIEW BY NITISH RAJ
When did you start writing or how you feel that you should write down your imagination?
I would say it’s genetic. My father writes poetry and I feel his creativity has passed on to me. As a teenager when one goes through a transition phase in life, it’s very difficult to share your thoughts with anyone. I found solace in noting down my random thoughts in my diary. Just that my words were in the form of poetry.
How are you feeling after publishing your second book in a span of six months?
It is an incredible feeling. I never gathered courage until my family and wellwishers after reading my work encouraged me to get them published.The roughly drafted thoughts were already there and I just needed to compile them into a book. The progression from the first to the second was smooth and the journey was indeed an interesting experience. We better ourselves with each move.
What aspects of poetry makes it more influencing than fiction?
For me I do a lot of introspection and draw inspiration from real life experiences and the people I meet. It’s important that the readers are able to connect with the poet. Poetry being the reflection of a poet’s personality makes it stand apart from other forms of art.
What role does poetry play in influencing the thought-process of mere mortals?
Poetry is a genre that creates an aura around the most ordinary emotion. They help to portray a blend of reality and fantasy and resonate with the reader’s life. It is the bridge between our heart and words spoken from our soul.
At the time when fiction has overshadowed poetry, what initiatives are taken by modern poets in order to attract the young readers?
I always feel the essence of poetry is one’s innermost emotion captured right. Remaining true to the feelings and expressing them has always worked. They may have been overshadowed
by fiction at the moment but they shall never be lost. You will always find readers’ who still believe in the age old charm of literature written in verse. Social media has been instrumental in engaging the young readers.
At the time when English language is becoming a part and parcel of our life, how much a poetry collection in Hindi language hold it’s relevance?
Hindi is the second most spoken language in the world. It will always hold it’s fort no matter what. There will always be raving fans of poetry who appreciate the significant contributions of our language in our culture and traditions. The lyrical recital still enthralls the enthusiasts. You can’t deny the fact that emotions are better conveyed in Hindi than in English.
How do you manage time for writing with your loving child who actually need special care?
I feel finding time for something one is passionate about is not difficult. For me penning down my thoughts is like breathing.I can do it almost anytime, anywhere. It’s all about time management! And as far as writing is concerned, while taking care of my child with special needs, I draw a lot of inspiration from her. Her never give-up attitude and zest for life inspires me to pursue my dream of writing.
What would be your advice to the young budding poets?
I would advise the budding poets to follow their heart while writing. Express yourself in words you believe in , they have an instant connect with the reader. Not everyone is blessed with the thought-process required for writing , especially poetry. So one must exploit this talent to the optimum.
With the philosophy that ‘Fashion is for everybody’ Designer Siddhartha Tytler showcased a bespoke collection for Rosewalk Hospital at Delhi Times Fashion Week at Hotel Roseate House, Aerocity.
Rosewalk, the most loving birthing facility where excellence, indulgence and holistic healthcare converge, is powered by the expertise of Rainbow Hospitals. Within this sanctuary of all-encompassing wellness, expectant mothers can find the finest and most compassionate medical care where the entire experience spells luxury and class.
The Siddhartha Tytler label rebels against the ordinary and lovingly embraces newer frontiers with aplomb. According to him, “Novel silhouettes, innovative structural elements, new-fangled patterns, ‘wear-ability’ and originality are the essential elements in every creation at my studio. When I create a garment, several factors come into play, be it incorporating changing trends or being inspired by elements that exist as part of our everyday lives, and they all are equally significant to the process. Bringing forth this maternity collection for glamorous mothers -to- be, for ‘Rosewalk’ at this year’s fashion week has been exciting and truly fulfilling”.
He is also getting a few lady Gynaecologists & Obstetricians to walk the ramp at this one of a kind fashion show to breathe life into his astonishing collection, aiming to inspire young expectant mothers to woo the goddess within. This will eventually lead to the unveiling of the Rosewalk logo at the event.
Abrarali Dalal, Director, Rosewalk Hospital, “It gives us great pleasure to announce that Rosewalk Hospital has collaborated with Delhi Times Fashion Week, which over the years has helped to transform the definition of luxury and fashion. Rosewalk Hospital is the perfect blend of top-of-the-line medical services and unparalleled luxury. It was only obvious that Rosewalk Hospital partnered with DTFW in a one of a kind display of fashion for the young Indian moms-to-be. We are very excited to put our support behind Mr. Siddhatha Tytler for the finale show at DTFW,”
India is a land of enough godlore pointing the pious and supreme position of women in society. In Hinduism, man and woman represent the two halves of...
ARIES (21 Mar – 20 Apr)
This fortnight you will find yourself working hard and being busy. You may find yourself holding on to things, situations and people out of fear or feeling insecure. You may also find yourself short of money hence you are asked to utilize every penny wisely. You are advised to let go of anxiety by stop trying to control everything. Give space to people around you and relax. Know that everything happens for good!
TAURUS (21 Apr – 20 May)
Things will be going very well and you should be feeling good. Projects will be moving right along. There may be regular moments of self-doubt, but you are advised not to hesitate and do it anyway. You may expect a positive change in your personal and professional life. So think independently and avoid worrying unnecessarily.
GEMINI (21 May – 20 Jun)
This fortnight you may find too many things happening at the same time. So, don’t let the situations overwhelm you. Try and be calm and think before you speak. Take one thing at a time, if you must. Surround yourself with positive people. This is a good time to spend time with yourself and figure out what you want.
CANCER (21 Jun – 22 Jul)
This fortnight you may yourself focusing on two main priorities in your life. Multi-tasking is not your friend right now and you may need to cut down on few things to bring balance. This is a good time to invest though avoid spending money on speculation. You are advised to maintain a healthy balance between professional and personal commitments. Overall, things will be positive.
LEO (23 Jul – 23 Aug)
This fortnight you are asked to recheck where your focus in life? Are you focusing on the things you don’t have or are you counting your blessings? You may be feeling a little emotional and may tend to worry too much. But remember life is determined not by situations but by your attitude towards it. So do not get discouraged by delays or slow responses. Instead use that time to make better strategies and plans!
VIRGO (24 Aug – 22 Sep)
This is an excellent time for finances and work. You may reap rewards for your hard work done so far. You will be put in a spotlight but you will find yourself rising up to the challenge. There may be peace and stability at home and singles have a good chance to meet someone new. Health is good too as long as you make it a point not to bring stress back home.
LIBRA (23 Sep – 23 Oct)
This fortnight you are likely to find yourself with some mixed feelings with life in general and about few people in particular. Work wise you may face some competition or external/internal conflicts. There is a need for caution and restraint in relation to spending money. In relationships you are advised to be honest and considerate. Overall a balance of work and relaxation is advised!
SCORPIO (24 Oct – 22 Nov)
This fortnight you are feeling charged up and full of confidence. Money will be flowing easily and travel is on the cards. Results will be more than you expected. A positive time in relationships and there may be some good news to look forward to. Overall you will find yourself moving nearer to your goals.
SAGITTARIUS (23 Nov – 21 Dec)
This fortnight your efforts are being watched so this is an important time to put in extra effort and pay attention to detail. Avoid jumping to conclusions and taking hasty decisions. Money and contracts will be headed your way now. Let go of your need to be right all the time! This can be period of fundamental spiritual awakening.
CAPRICORN (22 Dec – 20 Jan)
This fortnight you may expect some new beginnings or some good news. You may receive money from unexpected sources and things will be going well in general. You will feel hopeful, optimistic and upbeat about future. Relationships are comforting and health looks promising too.
AQUARIUS (21 Jan – 18 Feb)
This is a good time to plan and look ahead. You are feeling much in control and powerful. You will be required to take some important decisions and may face dilemma about sticking to what you know or take a risk. Good time for those dealing in online sales or dealing globally. You are supported in your relationships and partnerships will work in your favor right now.
PISCES (19 Feb – 20 Mar)
This fortnight you will generally feel positive. You will be feeling more secure than you have been in a while. Work will go on smoothly and you may be waiting for your returns on investments. Finances will be flowing well. Relationships are smooth and you will be reaping what you have sown.
Delhi Based Parul P Agarwal has carved a niche for herself as an Ace Tarot Reader, Numerologist and Past Life Healer. Parul is blessed with the powers of intuition and clairvoyance. With almost a decade long experience in this field, she is trained in multiple spiritual practices.
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